1. Skip to Menu
  2. Skip to Content
  3. Skip to Footer>

"You Gotta Get Up and Try..."

PDF Print E-mail

Written by Pat Curran

Posted on 17 January 2018

Last Updated 17 January 2018

DESTINATION TOUGHMAN: 41 Days Until Race Day

 

Where there is desire, there’s gonna be a flame,

Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned

But just because you get burned doesn’t mean you’re gonna die

 

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try…

 

P!nk singing, “Try”

To watch music video, click here

 

Let me be honest. I am exhausted. Physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted… Currently, most workouts range between 2-3 hours in length and many of my days start before 3am. Starting this week, some workouts will be well over 4 hours in length. I don’t enjoy getting up early, but it's the only way I can create the necessary space to train without impacting my family and job.

 

To get up when the alarm goes off, I take my hands and push my legs off to the side of the bed. Then, I focus on pushing my hips over the edge and let gravity do the rest for getting me on my feet. Now, I walk downstairs. With all my clothes, bags, etc. laid out on the floor and chair, I look at a yellow sticky written the night before to remind me of what tasks I must do before beginning the workout. Once those tasks are complete, I am nearly awake and ready to begin.

 

“All I have to do is to get started!” I tell myself. “After that, the boulder is moving.” But, that’s not the only thing that begins moving. There is something symbolic about working out during the hours of darkness. In the calmness of the night, where the only sound is the wildlife, an occasional car, and my breathing, I have time to reflect.

 

First, it’s about my form and the milestones within the workout. Then, it moves to analyzing gaps to close during the remaining weeks until race day. But before I know it, I begin tackling much larger issues. Similar to crossing the River Styx, I begin to identify some of the mistakes I’ve made and lies I tell myself in order to avoid accepting who I truly am. It hurts, but it’s essential to own it. I don’t know if its fear or courage, but my mind-body-spirit automatically takes inventory of who I am at the moment with brutal honesty. A lot of these memories are awful. As each thought or memory passes, I get this feeling of someone asking, “So what do you have to say for yourself?” I often start with, “I’m sorry.”

 

With a clearer view of myself and some lessons learned, I have to make some decisions. What parts of myself must I accept instead of wasting energy denying? What worldly beliefs must I reject to free myself to live the purpose God has created me for? Now, with all of this freedom, what actions must I take starting today to become a better person?

 

Honest self-reflection starts out being very painful but proves to be extremely liberating when followed up by action. My advice is to start small and allow yourself to take on whatever comes to mind. No special skills are needed. All it requires is that you try.

 

I know its dark for some out there on their journey with me. Despite it all, stay optimistic and never quit.

 

More next week! Until then…

 

God Bless,

--Pat

 

www.freedomslight.org

 

Did this week’s message help you? If yes, here’s an opportunity to help other Great Americans, starting at just $25.

  • Fisher House: To donate, here
  • Tuesday’s Children   To donate, click here
  • Wounded Warrior Project: To donate, click here
  • Children of Fallen Patriots: To donate, click here,
  • USO’s Operation Care Package:  To donate, click here

 

 

Letters From Your Father –

Belief # 9: Sometimes Love and Sorrow Can Lead to Redemption

 

Memories are just where leave them

Dredge the waters, til the depths give up their dead

 

What did you expect to find?

Was it something you left behind?

Don’t you remember, anything I said, when I said,

 

Don’t fall away… And leave me to myself

Don’t fall away… And leave love bleeding!

 

In my hands, in my hands again

And leave love bleeding

In my hands…

 

Love lies bleeding!!!!

 

Fuel singing, “Hemorrhage”

To view music video, click here

 

 

Dear Girls:

 

From time-to-time, I get horrible nightmares. They began in 2003 and increased in frequency and intensity through 2006. I still get them on occasion today.

 

Nearly all of them are the same. They start as benign as any another dream, but then, there is some twist. Something incredibly violent occurs to mostly people I don’t know. The common thread is that I am absolutely powerless to stop it.   Sometimes I am a 3rd party observer (omnipresent), watching and am equally surprised as those impacted by the horror. Other times, I am a participant trying to help, but the conditions are too overwhelming for me to make a difference. When I wake up, I’m usually out of breath trying to shake off the hopelessness.

 

On the surface, I figured this much out. I have a touch of “survivor’s remorse.” To be clear, I love you and your Mom. But, also I care deeply about my brothers and sisters in-arms who stand between us and those who wish to harm us. My sorrow comes from knowing what pain they and their families endure when they get injured or killed. I also possess irrational feelings of guilt because I am not out there sharing the risk with them, even today.

 

Here’s the good news, although what I am about to tell you maybe difficult to intellectually understand. Sometimes experiencing love and sorrow can be a pathway to redemption. These dreams clearly indicated that something within me was trying to express itself. With your arrival, I had to quickly figure out what it was. This “call to action” from each of you gave me a reason why, a second chance, an opportunity to “make good” for past mistakes.

 

I am not going to lie to you. Some nights really tested my sanity. My first reaction was to distance myself from many of my friends, family, and even my core beliefs. That’s when things got worse. It was like running through a forest with a broken compass. Instead of making any real progress, I was only getting lost faster. But then, hope came to me through the 3 of you. Watching each of you discover the world around you with such innocence, curiosity, and unconditional love restores some of my own.

 

Dark… I know. I’m including this note in my journals in case you find yourself in a similar spot someday with your own faith formation. But the story does not end here. I have more insights to share with you.

 

Please keep reading…

 

Love You Forever,

--Dad

 

 

This Week in Training:

 

Fear is a funny thing. Sometimes it is what it is. You’re scared. You stop. You may even run away. But this week what I learned about myself is that sometimes fear can disguise itself as “bravery” and follow the exact same path.

 

What I mean is that your fear could actually cause you to fight when you know you can’t win in order to lose quickly and escape. Then, you can hide your bruised ego and say, “Well, I gave it my all…” This is exactly the trap I learned to avoid by dealing with my unexpected calf injury from last week.

 

Unlike prior years of training, my primary focus was to control the fear of falling behind in the workout plan and allow my body, mind, and spirit to find a way to get back in the game. Here’s how it worked: The body told the mind how much pain I was in. The mind listened to the body and continuously tweaked my form and speed to avoid any unnecessary discomfort. The spirit provided enough “top-cover” to allow time for my calf to heal by holding fear at bay with faith that it will all work out fine. Each workout strained my calf enough to be tested but not so much where it did not seem to be stronger the next day. Although slow and perhaps not what I expected, I finished every workout last week.

 

Below is this week’s workout plan. It’s a significant leap in volume as compared to last week. My goal is to build on last week’s learning for constantly reconciling the tension between body-mind-spirit and allow myself to more freely adapt to the training as I pass through it.

 

Monday: Swim 15 x 100m; 6 x 1-Mile Hill Repeats

Tuesday: Bike 90 min, Run 60 min, 10 Chin-ups/100 Push-ups

Wednesday: Swim 2 x 800m; Bike 1.75 hrs

Thursday: Pilates Stretch, Core Strength Training

Friday: Bear Mountain - Bike 3.5 hrs; Run 35min

Saturday: Run 1.75 hrs (Track – Consistent Pace/Flawless Form)

Sunday: Stretch (Triathlon Training w/Girls)

 

 

 

Hey Sponsors! Stand up and take a bow... Thank you for your generous support!!