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"Wake Me Up Inside!"

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Written by Pat Curran

Posted on 17 January 2018

Last Updated 17 January 2018

DESTINATION TOUGHMAN: 34 Days Until Race Day

 

 

“How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Way down into my core where I’ve become so numb.

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back…

Home.

 

Wake me up!

Wake me up inside.

I can’t wake up!

Wake me up inside.

Save me!

Call my name and save me from the dark.

 

Wake me up.

Bid my blood to run.

I can’t wake up.

Before I come undone.

Save me!

Save me from the nothing I’ve become…

 

--Evanescence and Linkin Park singing “Wake Me Up Inside”

To watch video, click here

 

 

Last week, I left off with several questions to answer. Will I commit to completing the hard work necessary to be competitive? Can I escape the boundaries of my thinking and rely more on my spirit? Will I take a leap of faith to get to where I want to go, fully knowing it can turn into a free fall?

 

Admittedly, these are not easy questions to exclaim “Yes” to. Seeing the clear gap between my current capabilities and my goal certainly makes it intimidating. So, what do I do next? From this point forward, I rely fully on what I call “5-Dimensional Thinking.”

 

As a precursor, “5-Dimensional Thinking” requires a full commitment for creating a dream list, setting of goals, and engaging in daily actions that are aligned physically, mentally, and spiritually. This work must become routine without thinking, kind of like breathing. With that foundation, I am able to search inwardly for clues on next steps when feeling stuck. Especially during my longer workouts, I pray to God for help with all my problems (small and large) to see something I cannot see, to break the numbness, and to bring me back home.

 

It seems that the response to my prayers has been an unwinding process instead of direct messages or one time cures. Since 2006, I’ve been unwinding memories during my workouts. An output from this unwinding process has been insights for how to become a better person. Some of these memories serve to remind me what is truly important in life. Others have translated into “calls to action” like launching the Freedom’s Light Charity Program. And still others have produced lessons that I am making time to write down for my girls. All of it combined has me back on track for being more aligned with nature and the will of God.

 

From this point forward, its no longer about the workouts. Nearly all of them are long and grueling for the next 3 weeks and will certainly have physical benefits for race day. However, the real lesson now is one of serenity. Under increasingly difficult conditions, I must practice keeping my grit, focus, drive, and passion in everything I do. Additionally, I must more readily surrender my plans when they don’t work, trust God for guidance, and rapidly adapt to the realities put in front of me. This is what’s missing. This is what I will need to do in order to close the gap during my final month of training.

 

Next week, I begin pulling everything together for my upcoming training race at the West Point Triathlon on August 19th.

 

Make it another great week. Work with what you have and go with it.

 

Until next week…

 

God Bless,

--Pat

 

www.freedomslight.org

 

Did this week’s message help you? If yes, here’s an opportunity to help other Great Americas, starting at just $25.

  • Fisher House: To donate, here
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  • Wounded Warrior Project: To donate, click here
  • Children of Fallen Patriots: To donate, click here,
  • USO’s Operation Care Package:  To donate, click here

 

 

Letters From Your Father – “The Return of Superman (Backstory)”

 

 

“Does he still stand for truth, justice, all that stuff???

 

Superman Returns…

 

 

From the movie “Superman Returns”

Featuring the song “Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down

To watch video, click here

 

 

 

Dear Girls:

 

First, let me make something clear. You Dad does not think he is Superman. But I do believe that we all have superpowers given to us by God. We just have to have the courage to go find them.

 

My hope is that by reading this entry, you will be inspired to go find yours. It will be tough, but you can do it!

 

This week’s entry picks up from last week.

 

-------

 

It’s just before 5:00am on Saturday sometime in February of 2006. There is some snow on the ground and the temperature outside is below freezing. Lying in my bed, I am wide-awake, looking up at the ceiling from being both worried and angry. Between all of the worries of me and my team losing our jobs due to the pressures of outsourcing and the normal stresses of having a young family, I cannot sleep. I am angry with myself because I continue to have no clear solutions. The best idea I have at the moment is to put on some warm clothes and go run around Rockland Lake until I burn off some of the negative energy. Then, I need to be home and showered before anyone else wakes up.

 

As I am running around the 3-mile loop in the moonlight, I remember back to a series of memories conducting nighttime training maneuvers in the woods at various moments in the Army. When in the woods for days at a time, you can fully understand why people worship nature. The stars provide valued light during times of darkness. The moon controls the tides, which seems somewhat mystical. And when you are shivering in a patrol base with no overhead cover and cold rain penetrating your skin down to your bones, all of us pray for “BOB” to return as quickly as possible. BOB is the “Big Orange Ball” in the sky that brings us the two gifts of heat and light again. At that moment running around the loop, I was praying that I would see “BOB” very soon.

 

After running for about a ½ hour more, I see the first glimpse of “BOB” coming over the horizon. As I see “BOB,” something hits me. My mood sharply changes from deep reflection to laughing. It was something like, “Hey, remember me? I made ‘BOB’ show up this morning.” After laughing a bit, I get another emotional jolt. To put the feeling into words it is something like, “Pat, stop complaining. I’ve given you everything you need. Now, go home and do something positive! You’re wasting time…”

 

-------

 

Looking back, this was the first moment I began the true unwinding process. A memory from my past… A prayer for help (although it was to “BOB”)… And a simple set of messages for what to do next all coming from within. Nothing like that had happened to me for years. From that point, I felt that I was back to being one with God again. Each workout served as an opportunity to make a visit, share my thinking, and open myself to an opportunity to receive some wisdom and guidance.

 

Starting this process in 2006 allowed me to begin dealing with sadness and the loss of friends. Only by working through it did I understand that this was the underlying issue that clouded all other aspects of my life. I learned that the best way to honor dead is to act worthy of their sacrifice. That lesson gave me “permission” to do so many other things and is why you see all of the work with Freedom’s Light today. One of my greatest wishes is to honor them and their families who have given so much to all of us.

 

For your reference, here’s the link for the original journal titled “The Return of Superman” posted in 2010. My goal over the past few weeks was to begin documenting this as the backstory.

 

More stories coming… Julia is about to enter our lives with a riddle. I’ll explain more next week.

 

With Love,

--Dad

 

 

 

 

This Week in Training:

Last week was not perfect in terms of completing all of my workouts. I did the 4 workouts that mattered most in terms of practicing the “serenity” described in the first section. Joints are achy, so I have to be careful. It is day-by-day now until the end of the training period.

 

Here’s this week’s workout schedule:

 

Monday: Long Stretching Routine

Tuesday: Bike 75min; Run 1 hour

Wednesday: Swim 2000m; Bike 90 min

Thursday: Swim 20 x 20m; Long Stretching Routine

Friday: Run 14 miles (Mile Repeats w/ 800m recovery)

Saturday: Long Stretching Routine

Sunday: Bike 3:30min; Run 40min

 

 

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